Forget the turtles; the new martial arts master for the Nineties is Tai Chi Tortoise! Who needs ninjas anyway, especially when they talk like a bad surfing movie and make poor films? Ian Osborne crawls into a shell and beats a hare's arse...
Tai Chi is an unusual choice of martial art for a computer game. Being a 'soft' internal style, the emphasis is on defense and meditation rather than the aggressive physicality typical of other martial arts. Don't trust the inlay when it says it originates in Japan; it's Chinese! (Get your act together, Zeppelin!) Old Shellback's task is to track down the evil Vincent Ratatoui, who's stolen the world's cheese supply. And guess where he's hiding—the sewers!
Gameplay follows a standard platform-and-ladders arcade adventure, where you use the right object in the right place to advance. However, the problems aren't particularly interesting, and some aren't even logical. For example, to open the sewer entrance, you must give the scroll to the monk, who then casts an opening spell. Obvious, isn't it? (Probably-Man Ed.)
This tortoise isn't slow; he has to come out of his shell to beat the evil Vincent Ratatoui.
Acid Baths and Baddies The enemies attempting to deplete your energy bar are equally uninspiring. They lack independent minds, just wandering back and forth endlessly. Although this is supposed to be a martial arts game, Tai Chi Tortoise lacks the offensive moves of his amphibian lookalikes. You can't fight back, and it seems the only reason they chose a Tai Chi theme is because it rhymed!
The only way to get past enemies is to time your jumps to avoid bumping into them, making the game appear very dated. Other hazards include acid baths, spikes, crumbling floors (reminiscent of Manic Miner 1983), steam, etc.
Clearly, Zeppelin has taken inspiration from the success of the Dizzy games, attempting to grab a piece of the action. Unfortunately, it just didn't work. Tai Chi himself lacks the same cutesy appeal as his ovoid competitor, and the game as a whole lacks addictiveness and character.
Map Attack 301 Corky Unfortunately, Tai Chi Tortoise is only average, even as a budget release. Tai Chi is a defensive martial art, so why didn't the programmer give the tortoise Karate or Judo skills, enabling him to defend against attackers? Instead, when set upon, the character just stands there and takes it. To be fair, though, the graphics aren't too bad, and at least the tortoise is recognizable (it reminded me of that old cartoon character Touché Turtle). Some attacking creatures defy description, and some look very rude indeed. Don't get me wrong; the game isn't a complete waste of space, but I prefer something with a bit more action.
On the plus side, the graphics are good, though there's a little clash. If you're mad keen on platform-based arcade adventures, you might get some mileage out of it, especially if you're into drawing maps and the like. However, it didn't appeal to me (what does? - Ed). There's just too much arcade and not enough adventure, and neither element is really up to scratch. Fans of the genre might like it, but don't expect anything too spectacular.
Presentation: Fair to middling with interesting loading screen - 70% Graphics: Some nice touches, but a little sprite clash - 75% Sound: Good background tune, but too few spot FX - 79% Hookability: Will appeal to arcade adventure addicts - 69% Lastability: Samey hazards and... DONG! - 59%
OVERALL: 63% (69% if you're into arcade adventures)
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